• About

NotYourPlaything

~ because human degradation should not be entertainment~

NotYourPlaything

Category Archives: Domestic Violence

Part II – Fragile Ego, Fierce Predator: Brief Psychological Overview of the Psychologically Violent Personality’s use of Shame and Guilt

31 Monday Mar 2014

Posted by amylynnburch in Domestic Violence, Personality Disorders, Psychological Abuse, Stalking and Predator Behavior, Victim rescue & Recovery

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

abuse, Bullies, child abuse, Domestic Violence, harassment, Human trafficking, Psychological Violence, sexual assault, victimization

~by Amy Lynn Burch

Published on March 31, 2014 @ 8:23pm EST

“One concrete way in which we all landscape our sanity is by having our experience of reality confirmed by others. When our experience of reality is disconfirmed by others, our confidence in our own sanity can be undermined.” ~Graeme Galton, Forensic Aspects of Dissociative Identity Disorder

 

An emotional bully will exploit trust at every possible turn. In fact, exploiting trust is their primary method of control. They demand trust without question and then use the victim’s trust against them in order to gain power. They demand absolute trust while simultaneously refusing accountability in terms of proving trustworthiness. They feel obliged to gain every advantage over their victims without providing anything in terms of equity to their targets. If at risk of exposure, and then cornered, the psychologically violent personality will flatly refuse to answer direct questions in which they must admit the truth, sometimes ignoring and redirecting the conversation entirely. Not that redirection, in and of itself is inherently bad. Redirection is often a useful tool for the average non-diabolical personality to steer away from uncomfortable topics. However, for the psychologically violent personality, redirection is a combative tactic. Better stated, they are offended by and refuse to acknowledge inconvenient questions, an utterly diabolical move which exposes the liar without so much as a word of corroboration on the part of the abuser.

It isn’t uncommon for the bully to demand trust from their victims while shaming and blaming them for exhibiting rightful distrust of the abuser. The mere act of suggesting to the bully that his or her exploitative behavior is wrong tends to send the bully on a full frontal assault of sorts against their targets using shaming and manipulative language against their target(s) in order to put them on the defensive. If they can keep their victim(s) on the defensive then the abuser maintains power and control over the situation. The bully may use a combination of overt and covert shaming messages such as:

“You really need to get over your trust issues.”

“Why are you so suspicious and paranoid all the time?”

“I can’t talk to you when you get like this!”

Emotional bullies fail miserably at making the connection between their own deceptive behaviors and abject lack of honesty with their victim’s legitimate issues of trust. It cannot be overstated that bullies believe that they deserve absolute trust without question regardless of how many times they’ve deliberately betrayed their victim’s trust boundaries. They do not understand that trust is a byproduct of honesty and that where there is no honesty there can be no trust. This truth applies to all relationships including, but not limited to: business; romantic; and parent-to-child relationships. It is primarily parent-to-child relationships that we will focus on for the next two postings, current posting included.

Beyond The Mask of Sanity

Similar to Munchhausen by Proxy in which the perpetrator is desperate for admiration at the expense of ones child’s health and well-being, emotionally abusive parents are often desperate to appear to the general public as saintly and long suffering. This also applies to the emotionally violent intimate partner. In truth, these so-called upstanding model parents and mates are often the most heinous of abusers. The most devious are often mothers who see their children as an inconvenience and/or merely as tools used to gain sympathy. The mother whose motivation to have children is so that someone will love her is a red flag indicator of a potential emotional/physical abuser.

The emotional bully’s oversensitivity makes her an emotionally, and sometimes physically violent predator. She is typically motivated by two things: revenge for perceived wrongs; and getting her own way in every situation no matter how trivial. Everything is a contest and they simply must win. When boundaries are imposed on the emotional abuser they turn their focus to seeking revenge at any cost. It isn’t uncommon for the abuser to fake changed behavior even for long periods of time in order to accomplish their goal of evening the score against their target. They will often set out on elaborate schemes which include mimicking sanity, compassion, kindness, sincerity, guilt, and remorse for the sole purpose of catching their intended target off guard so they can deliver the killing blow, so to speak.

No matter how remorseful an emotional bully appears to be on the surface their internal motivation remains unchanged. It is for this reason that an emotional bully should never be trusted. Their entire motivation for gaining and regaining their victims trust after it has been lost is so that they can continue to exploit their victims for their own selfish purposes. It isn’t uncommon for the emotional bully to openly shame their victim for having trust issues without ever acknowledging that their behavior is the cause behind the mistrust. Emotional bullies work very hard to make their prey look irrational to the outside world and openly blame their victims as though their concerns were somehow created in a vacuum (see Gaslighting for more information).

Tools of the Trade: Shame and Guilt

Imposing inappropriate shame and guilt as a means of control for not complying with demands is a common tactic of an emotional abuser and is routinely used against victims regardless of age. However, this tactic works particularly well against children, unfortunately, as abusers well know. Shaming messages are extraordinarily powerful and have a dramatic negative affect on children. However, children are not the only ones susceptible to such abuses. Kind, yet gullible, personalities which appear child-like and trusting regardless of biological age are a hot target for psychological abusers. This is one of the reasons why dominant personalities tend to seek-out compliant souls on which to perpetrate their diabolical abuses, because they know that they can emotionally manipulate the compliant personality into inappropriate guilt very easily.

Before I go any further it should be noted that not all guilt is bad. Guilt, in its proper place, is a necessary emotion designed to correct inappropriate behavior. For example, hurting someone for entertainment value should elicit feelings of guilt in the emotionally stable and well developed person. If it doesn’t then it indicates something deeply wrong within a person’s psyche along the lines of lack of empathy which is no minor deficit. It is true that children must learn empathy but most children understand this inherently with proper feelings of guilt the indicator.  Just as stealing a personal possession from another person should impose feelings of guilt, so too should inflicting verbal abuses at another person elicit feelings of guilt in an otherwise healthy person. Guilt in this scenario is designed to point out the wrong behavior to the wrongdoer for the purpose of correcting the behavior in the future. As regards childrearing, many young parents fail to understand the necessity of this emotion e.g., appropriate guilt, in raising their children and seek to save their children from all negative feelings which create a host of character flaws in developing children which could lead to full-blown psychological disorders as they mature. However, that is a topic for another blog post. It does, however, go hand in hand with some parents’ unintentionally nurturing narcissistic bullies who very likely could grow-up to be psychologically violent personalities. All in all that is a very simplified explanation of a complex emotion but the average person reading this will understand the concept. Emotional abusers refuse to accept guilt as a correcting tool as applied to themselves yet do not hesitate to use it as an inappropriately imposed tool of manipulation against others in order to get their own way.

Children of emotional bullies are at particular risk of enduring years of pervasive abuse with little if any outside intervention. Over time, an abused child will likely begin to accept the abuse as normal having nothing in terms of healthy examples by way of comparison. The risk to them is that as they mature they tend to seek our familiar relationships not unlike what they have experienced at home thereby inadvertently repeating the abuse. If left uncorrected, the child will carry the abusive dynamic into adulthood either as a repeat victim or as an abuser. In some cases, they become both dependant on the relationship in question.

“Don’t Criticize My Parenting Style”

Abusive parents and especially those who resort to emotional, psychological, and spiritual abuse have the power to isolate and dominate their children not only deliberately keeping them away from help but also using their children as a shield of sorts against accountability. Simply stated, egocentric, selfish, demanding, and callous people have absolutely no tolerance for providing children with proper nutrition, emotional stability, love, and safety or any provision of basic human needs because it detracts from their overall self-absorbed goals of unconditional admiration, attention, absolute control and dominance over their environment. Although there are some children who are difficult personalities from birth, emotionally abused children exhibit certain behaviors which, to the trained eye, point to an abusive home life.  Anyone who comes close to examining the truth of the matter behind a seemingly erratic child’s behavior is seen as an exposure risk to the abuser.

If the abuser cannot control and manipulate the questioning party then all ties are cut and the child who typically has no power in the relationship is kept away from those who might very well be able to intervene in, and then stop, the abuse. If confronted, the psychologically violent parent may lean on the excuse of having a different “parenting style” which shouldn’t be criticized. It is normal to some degree to not want to receive correction but the chronic avoidance of correction is a huge red flag that should not be ignored.

Work It, Own It, Utterly Annihilate It

When children are taught from their earliest development to accept emotionally abusive behavior, they will carry that tendency toward acceptance of bad behavior into adulthood thus inviting into their lives the very abuse which they’ve sought to escape. If a child is taught that it is their responsibility to take care of one or more parents feelings and wellbeing at the expense of their own then they will learn to devalue their own very real basic needs and then will chronically acquiesce to the demands of bullies. This is a form of learned helplessness which if instilled in a child during their early formative years and reinforced through coercion becomes ingrained before adulthood. Children are particularly vulnerable to this form of abuse. Most children naturally seek approval and acceptance of parents or other parental authority figures. Abusive parents waste no time exploiting this tendency, willfully using it to their advantage.

Emotionally abusive parents do not hesitate to use their children’s reactive behaviors as a shield against the underlying cause, e.g., sadistically insidiously psychologically abusive injury. Make no mistake: not all abuse leaves a physical mark and it is the abuse that occurs absent physical scarring that is often the most violently wielded by abusive personalities. For the abused, the wounds and scars are long-lasting which are compounded by the absence of physical proof, with abusers who remain unpunished for their crimes that typically remain in the victim’s life.

No Body, No Crime

Emotional abusers are cunning enough to never abuse their victims in the presence of others, at least not intentionally. The only known exceptions are those who abuse in the presence of fellow abusers or in the presence of weak personalities who will say nothing to preserve their own safety. Using spoken words as their primary tool of abuse offers the abuser the luxury of denial as a means of protection from responsibility when confronted. The simple act of denial coupled with a carefully structured exterior façade is all that is needed for an abuser to continue their psychologically violent assaults on their prey. They will either outright deny that an abusive conversation ever took place or will deliberately misremember the conversation to their advantage. Emotional abusers would rather rewrite history than to tell the truth and will omit entire events which they know will expose their behavior if admitted. They will disregard the conversation to others as “I can’t be responsible for how he/she chooses to hear information” or “I can’t be responsible for what you choose to feel” all the while knowing that their victim has the correct information without the power to prove what was said.

It is important to note that the very act of denial is confirmation that the abuser knows what they’ve done is wrong. Otherwise, why carefully omit the incriminating information entirely? They are cunning and diabolical enough to know that without an outside witness willing to corroborate the truth, all that are necessary to avoid responsibility and perpetuate the abuse is denial and silence. Again, although anyone can be a victim of this method of abuse, children are particularly susceptible and at risk for not being believed as a result of the cunningly abusive parent who can tailor the narrative in their own favor.

Next week we will continue to examine the psychologically violent personality as parent while transitioning to other issues within abusive relationships. I welcome your questions, comments, and even criticism as long as it’s respectful. As always, thank you for your readership. You are not alone.

~Amy

© Amy Lynn Burch 2014
All Rights Reserved
No part of this work or webpage or any of its contents may be reproduced, copied, modified or adapted, without the prior written consent of the author, unless otherwise indicated by the author for stand-alone materials.

Blog Interrupted

02 Sunday Mar 2014

Posted by amylynnburch in Domestic Violence, Personality Disorders, Psychological Abuse

≈ Leave a comment

Hello Dear Readers~

I apologize for my silence over the last few weeks. I began a series in late January on the psychologically violent personality which was to run for six weeks and then, as often happens, life got in the way. Without boring the reader with unnecessary details, after several weeks of burning the proverbial candle at both ends to meet work, school, home-life, and advocacy demands I began to feel generally unwell. Not sick, just not well. Long story short, I found myself in the ER a week ago Saturday and then being admitted to the hospital for emergency surgery pending the outcome of a diagnosis that still has me baffled (and the doctors, too, quite frankly). I was in the hospital for a week under excellent care. Regardless, I won’t lie; it was scary and could have been far worse than it was, although it turned out to be far more serious than expected. The good news is that I’m fine now and on the mend! I’ll be recovering at home for the next six weeks and will hopefully be tied to my computer and so we shall press on with the topic at hand: psychologically violent personalities.

I wish you all well and thank you for your readership. Remember, you are not alone.

~Amy

Fragile Ego, Fierce Predator: the Psychologically Violent Personality

18 Saturday Jan 2014

Posted by amylynnburch in Domestic Violence, Psychological Abuse

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

child abuse, crimes against children, diabolical personalities, double standards, harassment, selective attention, spousal abuse, trauma, victimization

~by Amy Lynn Burch

Published on January 18, 2014 @ 11:40pm EST

“The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.” ~Maya Angelou

Emotional abusers never think they are. At least they never openly acknowledge that fact to anyone, not even themselves. Although emotional bullies may know it instinctively on a deeply intimate inner level, they predictably refuse to take an honest look at who they truly are and set about victimizing others for the purpose of personal validation and gratification. Hurting others isn’t merely entertaining for the emotional bully; it’s necessary to their very existence. Before you become wrapped around the axles, as it were, regarding my use of the word necessary let me clarify that necessary in this instance simply means “required behavior for the abuser to exist as such” and not “we need bullies in order to balance the universe” which is at the very least a ridiculous and nonsensical notion. Think of it in terms of the mythical vampire. Just as a vampire must drain life blood from their victims in order to exist, emotional bullies must drain their victim’s of energy, control, self-worth, autonomy, and personal validation in order to maintain dominant bully status. The word “boundary” isn’t in the bully vocabulary. Having a boundary is a foreign concept to the emotional abuser. They find the word offensive considering that having a boundary limits the activity of the abuser in terms of taking from their victims whatever they choose. Ahhh, there’s the rub!

An emotional bully is quite literally the definition of a pirate i.e. take everything of value, neither leave nor give anything in return. It isn’t so much that emotional bullies lack self worth as a motivation to drain their surroundings of any and all worth as it is that they tend to be the grandiose opposite of a selfless person with an inflated sense of importance and entitlement. In contrast, their carefully chosen prey unintentionally motivates the bully to obliterate those in his or her path who attempt to call them out and then stop them. Incredibly long sentence, I know, and accurate in description. Emotional abusers – bullies, if you will – work very, very hard at lying to everyone around them and to build a façade of narcissistic dominance, especially so to two persons in particular: first and foremost, their intended victims; and secondly, yet more importantly, themselves. Being of fragile ego, the emotional bully loathes him or herself as the case may be, to an inherently destructive degree which is what makes them such diabolically fierce predators.

As you continue to read you’ll notice that I use he/she and his/her interchangeably. The reason for this is simple. Although a large body of empirical data and professional writings regarding domestic violence and abusive behavior focuses largely on men as abusers and women as victims, the fact remains that not all victims are women and not all abusers are men. Women do, in fact, emotionally abuse others significantly so and very often their intended targets are their own children, spouses, and even friends whom they truly envy and wish to degrade thus the creation of the word “frenemy.” If your definition of abuser is synonymous with being male then I invite you to set aside that notion and consider that not all abusiveness follows traditional gender roles and most certainly is not limited to physical abuse. Neither is it relegated to overt methods of non-physical violence such as screaming, name calling, and verbal threats of possible physical violence in response to lack of compliance. Those forms of abuse are, indeed, reprehensible. However, there is a more insidious form of abuse that fails to leave physical marks which is often as elusive as vapor in terms of pinning it down that I contend is as much, if not more so in some ways, more deadly over time than some physical acts of violence: emotional, psychological, and spiritual abuses fall into this category. The abuse that leaves no tell-tale signs not only leaves the victim injured but also leaves the victim invalidated as the burden of proof rests entirely on their proverbial shoulders.  In reading this I hope that you gain insight into all of your relationships and not just the romantic ones. Truly, abusiveness can be found in the most unlikely of places leading us into even more abusive situations unless we learn to appropriately identify them wherever they might be found. Very many of them begin within a victim’s own family of origin with the abusive behaviors becoming normalized as accepted behavior.

To all of my readers regardless of age or gender it is my intention to offer you true hope and healthy guidelines in identifying then breaking fee of abusive relationships. The first step toward that end is in learning to appropriately identify them as such which is why I write on the subject so often. However, to my male readers in particular who find themselves in abusive relationships whether those relationships exist at work, at home, at church, or some combination thereof, I offer you this: there is hope and you are not alone. And to the abusers reading this article (because I know that many of you do for the specific purpose of gaining information to use against your victims) I say this: welcome to my spotlight of exposure. In case you’ve failed to notice, I’m something of an in-your-face advocate on behalf of the abused. I will not stay silent so that you can remain comfortable.

Emotional Terrorists 

Emotional bullies are abusers, ipso facto. Emotional bullies tend to be over-sensitized to their own feelings to the exclusion of others and also tend to confuse their wants for needs which they demand that others meet instantly and routinely or else. It is the “or else” threat which becomes the unseen knife in the hand of the emotional bully as waved in the face of the victim. To say that emotional bullies are impatient with their own discomfort is an understatement as they have no tolerance for not having their way at all times and very much at the expense of others. In that way, they are significantly infantile and emotionally immature. Like psychopaths – and many emotional bullies are, indeed, psychopathic – emotional bullies have malformed emotions often limited to proto-emotions which are nothing more than primitive responses to the most basic of human needs. As Dr. Robert Hare states in his groundbreaking book Without Conscience regarding the psychopathic personality,

“paint-by-numbers emotions are all that exist for this type of abuser in terms of recognizing emotions in others as well as feeling anything personally in terms of legitimate human emotion.”

Guilt for perceived wrongs committed and empathy for someone else’s pain are non-existent to the emotional abuser. To the emotional bully/abuser, the victim only exists as an extension of the abuser for the direct purpose of meeting his or her wants which are confused for needs.

Emotional bullies are master manipulators who are highly adept at wearing down the will of their victims through shame (how could you let me down like this/I need someone to stand beside me and not run in fear), goading (I guess you just don’t have what it takes to be my friend/business partner/lover, etc.), needling (if you’re too scared to “xyz” then I’ll find someone else), guilt-tripping (someone who cares about me would [fill in the blank]; you always let me down when I need you the most), charm (you’re such a brave person, I know you wouldn’t disappoint me like so-and-so), bribes (do this and I’ll buy you [fill-in-the-blank item]), and tactics of public humiliation (in a public setting, “Tim told everyone that I’m a bad wife…” *sniff* *sniff*).

Emotional bullies are highly adept at conditioning their prey to excuse away abusive behavior and force compliance with their own abusiveness. Emotional bullies – and at this point, let’s just call them what they are: abusers and emotional terrorists– are inherently deceitful people who are highly skilled at turning the tables, as it were, on their prey. I insist on calling the victim “prey” because that is how the abuser sees their victim(s). Destroy and consume is the ultimate goal for this type of abuser.

Emotional bullies refuse to acknowledge any wrongdoing and instead project guilt onto others for not complying with their demands. An emotional abuser works very hard at manipulating the sensitivity and empathy of their intended victims as a means of making the abused feel responsible for the abusers infantile emotions. They refuse to move past their own primitive needs and wants, and routinely refuse to alter their desires while deliberately ignoring the very real needs of others. It is this behavior that makes emotional abusers exceptionally dangerous parents and intimate partners.

In the next six weeks I will breakdown for the reader the psychology of the emotional terrorist outlining specific tactics that they use against their targets, how they think, and the tools they use to gain control, their primary motivations, how they interact as parents and as intimate partners, and what their victims can do to stop the cycle of abuse. As always, I am here to answer questions and provide resources to those needing help.

Thank you for your readership. You are not alone.

~Amy

© Amy Lynn Burch 2014
All Rights Reserved
No part of this work or webpage or any of its contents may be reproduced, copied, modified or adapted, without the prior written consent of the author, unless otherwise indicated by the author for stand-alone materials.

Domestic Violence: Demoralizing Abuse is Often Hidden in Plain Sight

11 Saturday May 2013

Posted by amylynnburch in Domestic Violence

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Domestic Violence, sexual assault, Teen Dating Violence

~by Amy Lynn Burch

“We accept the love we think we deserve.” ~Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Statistics

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV)

  • one in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime;
  • 1.3 million women are victims of sexual assault by an intimate partner every year;
  • 85% of all domestic violence victims in the United States are women;
  • historically females are most often victimized by someone that they knew well;
  • females 20 to 24 years of age are at the rate is to risk of non-fatal intimate partner violence;
  • the majority of domestic violence cases are never reported to the police.

As a result it should be clearly noted that all documented and provided statistics are only related to known cases of domestic violence. Additionally, commonly undocumented cases of domestic violence involve men who are battered not only in same-sex relationships but in heterosexual relationships, as well, which is believed to be at epidemic proportions within the United States.

The United States Department of Justice defines Domestic Violence as “a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner.  Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that intimidate, manipulate, humiliate, isolate, frighten, terrorize, coerce, threaten, blame, hurt, injure, or wound someone.”

Very few people willingly walk into a relationship that they know will eventually become violent. The typical romantic relationship begins in a somewhat predictable fashion: mutual attraction, mutual interests, a period of interpersonal bonding, a move toward commitment etc., etc.  However, without notice these once attractive relationships can turn from romantic to controlling and violent almost seamlessly. The earlier in life that the relationships begin with set dysfunctional patterns the more likely the relationship is to become violent in the future.

Very often, and in retrospect, victims will report that they paid little if any attention to the early warning signs at the beginning of the relationship with their abuser. Hindsight is truly 20/20 and after careful examination of past events most domestic violence victims can identify clear patterns and pathways which ultimately led to their abuse. Sadly, most victims are trained early in life to ignore the warnings out of compassion for other people, or religious doctrine, or the “do unto others” philosophy. Abusers, particularly those in an interpersonal relationship, know well how to exploit the compliance and kindness of their victims

Ironically, the more compliant and accommodating the domestic violence sufferer, the more demanding and abusive the perpetrator usually becomes. Abusers seek compliance as permission to continue their assault and when in fear of losing control of their targets they escalate their behavior through physical violence, emotional violence, and sometimes spiritual abuse. The predictable response by most domestic violence victims is to engage in self blame. “If only I had been kinder,” or “if only I hadn’t argued,” or “If only I [fill in the blank].” Victims are very often trained early in life to defer to all perceived authority figures which set the pattern for enabler/abuser relationships.

Domestic violence perpetrators follow a nearly predictable pattern of behavior which very often is difficult to detect from the outside observer. Once they have their victim well under control they work diligently to isolate their victim from all outside influences up to and including restricting the contact between friends and family members of their victims. They will very often go out of their way to shape the public view of their victims in such a light that they are perceived as unstable. Therefore, anything they say negatively about their abuser should not be trusted. Very unfortunately this tactic seems to work successfully across cultures as well as socioeconomic environments. The typical abuse victim does not understand that what they are experiencing from their abuser is not some form of love. DV abusers seek to exert authority and power over their victims and typically have no love or respect for them at all. This can be a very difficult point to accept for the abuse sufferer, and is often difficult to understand that they have spent often decades in a relationship where they were not truly loved.

We hear a lot about awareness and I would like to go on record saying that I am for that and it isn’t enough. Merely being aware does nothing to stop it. The ultimate goal would be to stop the violence before it begins which is one of the true benefits of awareness. However, once caught in the cycle of abuse it takes action often by those on the outside of the relationship to keep it from continuing. We have got to move past the “it’s not my business” self protective type of thinking and be willing to confront not just the victims but the abusers as well. Expecting domestic violence from situation to situation to spontaneously resolve is the equivalent of expecting a raging gasoline fire to put itself out.

If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, help is available. Suffering in silence will not make the situation any better. Reach out, speak out, save a life.

~Amy

Victim Resources

Emergency Phone Numbers

The National Domestic Violence Hotline 1 (800) 799-7233

The National Sexual Assault Hotline 1 (800) 656-4673

The National Teen Dating Abuse Hotline 1 (866) 331-9474

The National Human Trafficking Hotline 1 (888) 373-7888 or you can text INFO or HELP to BeFree (233733)

Weblinks

For anyone suffering abuse, documentation is critical in not only ending the cycle but in also ensuring that the abuser is brought to legal justice. Susan Murphy-Milano was a tireless advocate and warrior for the rights of domestic abuse victims. Susan’s legacy is the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit as detailed at: http://documenttheabuse.com

http://www.ncadv.org/ 

http://www.domesticviolence.org/

http://www.dccadv.org/

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm

http://www.thehotline.org/ 

http://www.ovw.usdoj.gov/domviolence.htm

http://www.mysistersplacedc.org/about-domestic-violence.html

http://www.dvcac.org/ 

http://www.azcadv.org/

http://www.psychiatry.org/domestic-violence

http://www.ncadv.org/files/DomesticViolenceFactSheet(National).pdf

http://www.vaw.umn.edu/documents/inbriefs/domesticviolence/domesticviolence.html

Domestic Violence Counts 2012

“For the seventh consecutive year, NNEDV conducted a one-day, unduplicated count of adults and children seeking domestic violence services in the U.S. on September 12, 2012.  This annual census documents the number of individuals who sought services in a single 24-hour period, as well as the types of services requested, the number of service requests that went unmet because of lack of resources, and the issues and barriers that domestic violence programs face as they strive to provide services to victims of domestic violence.

The full Domestic Violence Counts 2012 report is available along with a one-page national summary (in both English and Spanish) and individual state and territory summaries.”

Reading List

Domestic Violence Sourcebook by Dawn Bradley Berry

To Be An Anchor In The Storm by Susan Brewster

Times Up! by Susan Murphy-Milano

Abused Men: The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence by Philip W. Cook

When Love Goes Wrong: What to Do When You Can’t Do Anything Right by Ann Jones and Susan Schechter

When Violence Begins at Home: A Comprehensive Guide to Understanding and Ending Domestic Abuse by K.J. Wilson

Recent Posts

  • Part II – Fragile Ego, Fierce Predator: Brief Psychological Overview of the Psychologically Violent Personality’s use of Shame and Guilt
  • Blog Interrupted
  • Fragile Ego, Fierce Predator: the Psychologically Violent Personality
  • Domestic Violence: Demoralizing Abuse is Often Hidden in Plain Sight
  • A Crash-Course in Stockholm Syndrome: Why I Doubt that it Applies in the Case of Amanda Berry

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 1,172 other subscribers

Recommended Blogs

  • Forensic Connect
  • Shadowize
  • NoLonger Victims Blog
  • lethargicsmiles
  • The Big Bombshell
  • Forensic DNA Consulting (now hosted at mbadnaconsulting.com)
  • Naked Security
  • didprinniedoit
  • NotYourPlaything
  • RMRI, LLC.'s Blog
  • Classroom as Microcosm
  • CyberMaryland
  • Blog - Elizabeth Smart Foundation
  • Half The Sky Movement Blog
  • WordPress.com News

Sexual exploitation

#KnightSec abuse Alexandria "Prinnie" Goddard Alexandria Goddard Amanda Berry Ambient abuse Anonymous bitterness Bullies Child abduction child abuse crimes against children crimes against women criminal profiling diabolical personalities Domestic Violence double standards Due Process emotional two year old enabling behavior Freedom of Speech Gaslighting Effect Georgina "Gina" DeJesus Gina DeJesus Grand Jury harassment Human trafficking injustice intimidation tactics Justice kidnapping KYanonymous malignant insecurity media manipulation mental health mental warfare Michelle Knight Michelle McKnight obstruction of justice Ohio pornography Predatory behavior prostitution Psychological abuse Psychological Violence psychopaths rage Rule of Law selective attention Sex trafficking sexual assault Sexual exploitation sexual offenders social media spousal abuse Stalking Steubenville Rape Case Stockholm syndrome survivors tainted evidence Teen Dating Violence trauma trolls unstable personalities victimization

NotYourPlaything

NotYourPlaything

Twitter Updates

  • RT @aware_the: pix11.com/news/local-new… 1 month ago
  • @SenateGOP How, exactly? Tell. Me. How. What is your plan? 1 month ago
  • @SenateGOP And the GOP did nothing meaningful to stop it from happening. 1 month ago
  • @The_Hellenist And where is the well-researched body of corollary data to support this ludicrous claim? Just as bre… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 1 month ago
  • RT @DHSgov: DHS is extending the REAL ID full enforcement deadline until May 7, 2025. Air travelers 18+ will need a REAL ID-compliant lic… 1 month ago
Follow @amy_burch

Goodreads

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Forensic Connect

Shadowize

The real world of a Private Investigator

NoLonger Victims Blog

This page is for everybody in the world who has ever suffered from Domestic Violence. It is not just for women and children, as men suffer, too. In fact they suffer in more silence than women do. But I'm tired of nothing been done and that victims are simply mere statistics in one form or the other.But together we can try to get governments all over the world to help now , before we are headline news this time as murder statistics rather than victims of abuse.We the survivors have to ensure that we protect the next generation of children so that they are not ignorant to any form of abuse,and will not tolerate it in anyway

lethargicsmiles

Living Life with Chronic Illness - Under Construction

The Big Bombshell

Exposing Cyberbullies and Stalkers!

Forensic DNA Consulting (now hosted at mbadnaconsulting.com)

Discussion of Issues Regarding DNA Testing

Naked Security

Computer Security News, Advice and Research

didprinniedoit

This WordPress.com site is the bee's knees

NotYourPlaything

because human degradation should not be entertainment~

RMRI, LLC.'s Blog

Private Investigations Blog

Classroom as Microcosm

Siobhan Curious Says: Teachers are People Too

CyberMaryland

Just another WordPress.com weblog

Blog - Elizabeth Smart Foundation

because human degradation should not be entertainment~

Half The Sky Movement Blog

because human degradation should not be entertainment~

WordPress.com News

The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.

Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy
  • Follow Following
    • NotYourPlaything
    • Join 93 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • NotYourPlaything
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar